Me: mom, can I have 5 dollars?
Mom: how do you plan to earn it?
No wonder people look at us funny.
OMG THIS IS PERFECT
“this is God. he hits sam with plungers”
Do my dark undereye circles and unwashed hair turn you on
WHAT IF MONEY CAME OUT OF OUR VAGINAS WHEN WE WERE ON OUR PERIODS
I’D BE BLOODY RICH
WAS THAT A PUN?
Relationship Status: Disgrace
Sexual Orientation: Evil as plain as the scar on my face